My life in writing

This is an original, one i wrote at 1:47 am on 12/27/2002, i remember the day/night to a tee. i remember what i was feeling, thinking and even wearing.  I spent christmas by myself. i was miserable. hence the title.

He's Misery

Misery speaks in a way i can't relate

and he dilutes his reality with that which i hate

but his spontenunity refreshes all logic

and in retrospect reflects on all nostalgic

He cries in pain not self inflicted

and avoids withdrawls because he's addicted

he withers away and searches for clues

that'll redirect his path to you

Misery beats, tortures and mends

corrupts the habitual, and ceases to end

devious routes in which he'll travel

truth be told he'll soon unravel

Mindless acts of pure indulgence

equals harmful signals of his convulsions

sympathy embarked a trail unseen

unhappiness apparent and pleasure between

Misery bleeds though his blood not read

and silence a trend and soon he'll be dead

the painful bliss that haunts our souls

are signs of weakness of no self control

Decisive acts that prove stability

leave questions of doubt and authentic ability

counterfeit feelings and false apprehensions

misery speaks beyond comprehension.

tell what you think. i'm curious. i've never shared this with anyone. i'm curious. (repeat)

Stay Tuned....

Judas?

well much anticipation has been made recently, of the next released single by Lady Gaga, since the success of Britney recently, though i don't think those two are competing, i think the fan bases are.  However, since Britney has just appeared on Rihannas remix of S&M, Britney is even more all over the place.

Well Gaga surprised her fans with a release of her next single, Judas.  Starting to sound a lot like some of her previous work... and i'm not saying that because i'm not a fan, but because i enjoy music and i don't quite see the appeal. doesn't sound groundbreaking to me. tell me what you think!!!

http://gagadaily.com/2011/04/song-premiere-lady-gaga-judas/#more-17642

Deepest Apologies

well, i did what i thought i would end up doing and that was fall off the "updating my blog" wagon and just realized i haven't posted since 4/4/11.  Not exceptable.  So much stuff has happened and will be happening that i need to catch everyone up.  I also found the very poem that i fell in love with that i wrote in 2002...it was when i realized i want to write, very few in more then 1 or 2 have ever seen it. :) so i'll be sharing that as well.

I'll be updating the road trip endeavors.....and funny quotes, and before i do... Marcus, so glad you came. you were the perfect roadtrip companion.

Kim gets married tomorrow, sad to say that she did not bulk up with creatine so she'll still have her devilishly sleek and slender figure with legs to die for :)  I'll post pics and updates from that as well.

I also went to the Raveonettes concert on 4/11 with Pumps (heather hardgrove) OH YEAH SHE'S BACK.... man it has been a while since i've updated. 

Sleigh Bells is next friday, as well as Willies birthday celebration, so excited. wow, have lots to catch up on.

UCONN Men's Basketball # 1 baby, winning the national championship :)

Stay Tuned....

First Piece Of NEW Writing...in almost 6 years

nothing special, nothing long and thoughtful and definitely not my finest, but i was writing over the weekend, and came up with this: i didn't know how to finish it, i don't have a title for it and i 'm not sure what to make of it. but it's a little poem i wrote. enjoy it.

It’s heavy, when the darkness falls and light as a feather when redemption calls

It’s force fed sympathy and reaches a brim, but sinks with solitude when asked to swim

It’s weak in the knees, a feeling so trite, but gathers it’s strength when its told to fight

It’s bruises are blue and swelling is black, it’s lost in translation there’s no coming back

It follows the shadows that conquers your fears, it softens it’s touch to dry your tears

It lay inert it often plays dead, but defenses are down and theres trouble ahead

The throbbing of guilt, the panic arises, the salt in the wounds like spoiled surprises.

The scent of relief is almost as crude, as the feelings of freedom begin to seclude

Chornicles of Trouble: To Chinati and Back

Stay tuned... as much as i can, i'll be posting pictures, and what were up too on this blog while on our roadtrip this year.  I didn't have a blog last year, it would have come in handy, as it was a trip to remember, but i anticipate this to be quite the trip. so fasten your seatbelts...or ready your finger on the mouse to navigate from my blog in boredom, but either way, it's going to be one helluva trip :)

Marfa tonight....i hope the Weather Channel doesn't find us again.

M83 - Skin of the Night

blink-182 - I Miss You

This song was so instrumental in my friendship with my best friend, Heather. Things aren't the same anymore. things are so different, so vastly distant and i hope we find our way back. We tell each other we will, and it hasn't really happened. I take a lot of the blame for that, i guess it's just hard to want to be what i used to be to her when i know she's taking a step forward into her life with a wonderful guy. i'm not her only guy anymore. When i think of this song, i think of all the times we sang this, when we were sad, or the times we sang it because we were together . I think of the times we used to say "who the fuck is jack and sally?" i think life in New England, life in Connecticut. I think that it's fair to say i've never had a friend like heather and the prospect that after 6 years of dilligent trying and precious efforts made by both parties that we are worn out with exhaustion of maintaining a very deep, personal and spiritual connection that started with little to no effort. Heather, if you are reading this, we've been through a lot, together and alone.. you and ross are so amazing together. i like him, i want to spend more time with him, but most importantly i want you to be happy, and i have to accept that i am not going to be 100% repsonsible for that. i'm not going to be the one you come to first, i'm not the one thats going to make you laugh when you need it, or take care of you even when you don't need it. I thought being 2200 miles away would be the biggest problem. After 6 years, i think we've surpassed any "obstacle". I know you are probably reading this wondering why i'm not telling you this personally. I think one reason is because, i need to become personal on my blog, i need invoke trust and appreciation for those who take the time to read this. and the second reason is because i truly think you already know this. I think these thoughts have gone through your head. It scares me that it's a possibilty we both feel fatigued. Maintaining our own personal lives was never easy when we were together, haha, and it's more difficult being half a country away. Regardless, i never skip a beat when someone asks who is the one friend who means the world to me. i've met some incredible people as of late, and wouldn't change that for the world, just like your admirable friendship with Jennie, who is an outstanding personality and a real gem of a friend for you. I'll be the first, i'm very jealous of your friendship. Anytime, you vent or go to another friend, i get jealous and i am starting to think it's not my place too anymore. They deserve my respect. You are my best friend, always will. No matter where i am in life. no matter who i meet in life..they cannot hold a candle to the history and passion we've had as best friends. So point blankly, i miss you. i miss my best friend.